March Coping After Loss

[tigergal]

I hope we all continue to heal physically and emotionally.

[trying hard]

I hope everyone is doing well and healing the best they can :)

[sbell]

Best Wishes to everyone for continued healing! My prayers are with you all!

[Ishall]

I just wanted to check in with everyone. I had a scare this morning and it was just yet another reminder that no matter what, losing a child changes you forever. I hope things are moving along for all of you.

[bbmk2]

Oh no Shebra! Is everything OK? You have done such a marvelous job of baking that little one this far! I saw your latest pic on the pic thread and you look great!

Thinking of you.

[Ishall]

Thankfully, everything is fine. I just find it hard not to worry about things, because, well as you know, we know anything can happen. Anyway, the baby is doing well, but I had my mother in law here and she's a nurse, and therefore authority on everything medical (even though she works with dementia patients and has never had medical experience with L&D), and she just had me thinking about/worried about stuff this weekend, and the baby wasn't moving all morning on Saturday so I panicked a little bit, but things turned out fine.
Do you remember when we used to have a prayer forum on this board? I wonder whatever happened to that. I think even as long as it's been for me, I still struggle spiritually with my loss. I go to church every Sunday and I still find myself thinking in the back of my mind that I was let down by God when He took my baby. Even though I went through therapy (and still do), I never addressed how my spirit was broken with losing Savannah. I feel like I need to do that for this baby's sake. And some days I feel like my support system is not there because everyone thinks that this baby will somehow replace Savannah and I shouldn't grieve anymore. I could have 20 more babies and it wouldn't make me forget Savannah. I just want to heal more spiritually so I can be the best mom to my new baby. I need to work on that more.
Well, I'm glad you're coming along too. I hope things continue to go well for you. Keep baking!

[trying hard]

Ishall - I can understand what you mean when you say that people automatically assume that being pregnant again will replace the sadness that you feel for the loss of your baby. I know you will never forget Savannah and anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of a m/c knows that too. Sometimes people are trying to help us and they just don't get it, even though they mean well. I am not pregnant right now but when I speak about my losses sometimes people will say things like "oh don't worry, you will get pregnant again"....I want to scream at them that "THAT IS NOT THE POINT" and I am grieving for the losses that I have had no matter if I get pregnant again or not. I know that people generally mean well and are trying to help but sometimes I think it would be much better if they said nothing at all.

Sorry this reply has turned into such a rant but it's been a tough few weeks for me adn I'm learining that keeping this all inside is not helping matters much.

I hope you can find peace with things and that you continue to heal spiritually...I am sure that you will be a great Mom to this little one.

[dizzyliz]

Ishall,

You will never forget the little one you've lost. My first m/c happened 18 yrs ago and I still get teary eyed thinking of my baby. Having these feelings are normal and some stay with you. It wouldn't be normal if they didn't. Grieving is a process and there will come a time when it's ok and you don't break down to think of the what ifs.

No your new little one will not take the place of Savannah, she will live on in your heart forever, but he or she will brighten your days and make the grieving a little easier.

I wish that each of my children could be here, but I am forever thankful that my dd is healthy and a handful at almost 11 yrs old.

God bless,
Liz

[trying hard]

Anyone else having a hard time lately???

For some reason, during this Easter weekend and the days leading up to it I feel like an emotional train wreck! I think maybe it's because Easter is such a kids day with the bunny and all and I guess I'm a little jealous that I don't have any kids to have Easter with...sounds lame I know but it's the truth.

[Jada]

Trying - I am too!! I cried like a big baby(pardon the pun) today. Seeing my cousin's 4 kids dressed up and doing the whole egg hunt thing. I should be almost giving birth around now. I was due April 21st. I should also have a 5 year old but no. Seeing my dad buy them goodies and baskets just tore my heart out. He should be buying things for his grandchildren and I can't do it for him. So you are not alone. (((HUGS)))

[ndinkel]

I'm with you ladies. Last year I was pregnant at this time. I didn't know it until the 26th but I was pregnant a year ago. Also, with Easter being early, last year at Easter I knew I was pregnant and so did the whole family. We had Easter at our house for the first time last year and everyone was so happy. This year we had Easter year again. I did pretty well though. But I was sitting in the "nursery" with my niece and nephew, my nephew who is three said "Where's the baby?" I told him that Uncle Terry and I were still waiting. They then went on to talk about how this would be the baby's room etc. I know that he doesn't remember me being pregnant but our oldest niece, his sister, who is five remembers. Anyway, I was thinking about everyone yesterday and hoping that everyone made it through the holiday okay.

[trying hard]

Well, made it throught the holiday, if only barely! It's crazy but things have been hard the last while...making it really tough on dh & I with me being so unhappy a lot. We are at cd14 so trying again which I'm hoping the being physically close will help. When I ask myself if I'm ready to try again so soon I at first questioned it but then can't imagine just "wasting" a month. Sometimes I feel like I am actually going to go crazy :?