PDA

View Full Version : Unrelated to PCOS, but could use an honest opinion.


jellybean
05-11-2006, 08:36 PM
OK, here is a totally non related thing..

My mother died in 1990. My grandfather died in 1991.

My grandmother then re-wrote her will. In it she left every thing but a small amount which was given to me to my living aunts. In the meantime, she has also given me gifts of money over the years. The amount is more than she has given to any one else but is still a drop in the bucket compared to what the one third of what the potential estate would be. Please do not ask for numbers I am not willing to give that on the internet.

I feel like my grandmother has in all reality disinherited me. I am upset that my grandmother made this decision. I think I should have been given what would have been my mothers. While the money would be nice, honestly it is the principle of the thing. I feel hurt and cheated.

My aunts on the other hand are telling me that I am being petty. They say grandma has been more generous with me than the others and that I don't have a right to feel slighted or question the way things are set up. One aunt tells me that she was the one who has taken care of grandma for the last 10 years with everything from cleaning up when she was sick to running errands or handling financial records. They both have told me that I am being a jerk.

My grandmother is still alive but has had enough strokes that she is no longer mentally capable of talking rationally about any of this.

So the question is. Do you think I am being a petty jerk? Please answer honestly.

Kelansma
05-12-2006, 04:24 AM
When hubby and I wrote our wills up we were encouraged by our solicitor to write a long term will...so this being said this is what happens if one of us dies:

$50K per kid is put aside...they may not get it til the other dies (i.e. the kids cant force us to sell our home) but it covers our kids in case one of us remarries and the new spouse out lives us

Whehter one or both of us die if we have outlived a child the estate is equally divided still ebtween the number of children we had and the money goes to their CHILDREN. Not their partner. If they have died without children then I suppose the partner gets it (we didn't really cross that t) and if they have no partner or kids then it is just split among the kids left.

My MIL still carries on that one of her husband's uncles left money to her kids and not her. I think it was a VERY fair choice to be totally honest. She feels as Harry's widow blah blah blah. I feel that it should only pass to blood relations - she would have just wasted it on herself. I would asusme if James died before her that she'd have it in trust for my kids though cuz she's not consistant. One rule for her, one rule for others. I'd be cool with that though.

I think you might be able to contest the will in the absence of your mother...yes as a grandchild you've probably gottne mroe than your cousins but your cousins will benefit from the meoyn their mothers inherit.

My dad is contesting his mother's will at the moment. What a drama and a half. The sum my dad was left is reaosnable if the estate weren't worth majorly big bucks............................................. .my Aunt walks away wit the better part of over a million.

tracy
05-12-2006, 10:04 AM
Hey Jellybean.

While I don't think you're being petty (you were understandably hurt by her decision), you may have to decide that the hurt has to be outweighed by having relationships with the relatives you do have left. Esp since you've lost your own mother.

When my grandmother died, she left a little $$$ for six of the children and the house/farm/etc. to the youngest son. It was worth far more than all of the money combined. Everyone else was hurt and it's caused a huge rift in their family. Nothing would've upset Gramma more, but she did cause it. The siblings should be angry with her and not the youngest son...he just happened to be the closest (lived in the same town). It's sad to see a family torn apart by money, though...but it does happen all of the time.

Best wishes with this issue.
Tracy

Kelansma
05-12-2006, 04:53 PM
My dad doesn't have a relationship with his family so contesting isnt a big deal. His other brother he does like is also contesting...soooooo theya re in this togeher. Very bonding for them....lol Until the funeral I didnt know what my two cousins looked like grown up. One looks like he should be part of my sibling group and is a handsome boy...theother is really ugly. My son sometimes lookslike my Aunt (who is a lighter version ofmy dad)...whihcuspetsme. I need to really start seieng the nose a slooking like my dad's but there's somthing that si all her...oh my!