Working Motherhood

[katiepcoo]

I find myself returning to work tomorrow, I can't believe it. After Peter was born I realized that I didn't want to do the awful commute to my job anymore and that I should probably look for a different one. Not working isn't an option b/c I make almost twice what DH does. It is a shame b/c I haven't even been at the job for a year, I like it and I absolutely love my boss and mentor who is just fantastic. It is a shame to leave the organization too b/c I have fertility coverage.

Of course, just as I make this difficult decision I find out that there is going to be a MAJOR change in our department that may open up some amazing opportunities for me in the next year or two. Also, it could potentially mean that I could work irregular shifts allowing me to be home more down the road for Peter and any other child that we have.

I worry that if I stay at the job I'm at now I will be letting Peter suffer for my career even though it could make things better for us later in his childhood. The other thing is that it would be months after I find a new job before I could actually start it, so I am going to be away from him during the early months anyway. And of course, I haven't even talked with my boss yet so all of this could just be speculation. ARGGGGGGGGGGG.

Any thoughts on this subject would be appreciated.

[mara232]

I say you stick out and see how things go. That's what I am doing right now. If you start somewhere new - you may have to more work more or harder and it may be worse. Just give it some time and take it day by day. It's overwhelming when you first come back to work. Once you get your groove on things start making sense and you'll know what it is exactly that you want. Good Luck! :)

[texasred1]

I second what Mara has to say. Just stick it out. When I came back to work they did some really ****ty things to me. They took advantage of me being gone on maternity leave, then just hasn't been this best case scenario since. But if I do go search for a new job, it will be like starting all over again, kwim? So, I'm sticking it out, sucking it up, and venting here when something goes wrong at work...

Funny you brought this topic up, dh and I were just talking about working sahm, etc. I was saying how I feel that I should be at home *now* with Mason vs. when he is older, say elementary school age. DH disagrees saying Mason won't remember if I was sahm now or not, but will remember when he's older. Makes sense if you look at it that way. btw: both dh and I's mother's worked.

[mara232]

I'm making a career change for the exact reason Red said. He won't know now - but will later. So I want something with better hours for later so when he is about 3 or 4 I available for him way more than I am now.

[Sherri]

Katie, my experience has been that new motherhood and returning to work is enough to adjust to without the pressure of carrying out a job search and starting something new. I have a 45 min commute each way, too, so it's a long day. Is it possible for you to negotiate to start out part time or work from home part of the time? I highly recommend it if it's an option for you. Good luck, and take care of yourself!

[katiepcoo]

thanks for the input, guys. I really appreciate it. I'll let you know what I find out when I go back tomorrow.

[wecova]

First, you were smart to go back to work on Friday . . just one day to adjust again.

Also, start looking for work at home options. I'm doing that now, and have been for 2 months, and I am having my 3rd in April.

Third, from my experience, the kids need their parents "attention" most when they are in high school!! I teach high school, and for those kids who have at least one parent home, they are less likely to ditch, less likely to have to "work" when they get home, less likely to do drugs or alcohol in excess (because face it most teens are tempted by some of those things). They are more grounded, more settled, have a dependable routine, and are not allowed to go out and wander the streets until 5 or 6 when mom or dad come home from work. These are all worries that aren't troubling to you when you are at work and your 3-12 year old are at daycare/school!!!!!!

Did you know parents of high schoolers are 3x more likely to get a divorce (or 4x more) than parents of any other age group?? Why is that?? Teens are stressful to raise, deal with, understand, to give room to, and so much more.

I believe that planning is crucial, and certainly planning as you expand your family, but think loooooooong term!! Vacations and "stuff" won't leave the impression that one parent at home will!!

Something to think about ;)
Weeee