Breastfeeding-Help!!!

[katiepcoo]

Sorry this is so long...

I am having so much angst; I hope someone can help. Peter spent a couple of days in the NICU mostly b/c he wouldn't eat because his throat was sore from being suctioned. I BF for a couple of days after getting home but I was really sick, an emotional mess, and couldn't get him to latch so I bought a pump and started pumping and bottle feeding him.

Saw Pedi on sat and he was back to birth weight and she encouraged me to see a LC to get him on the breast again since I am feeling so much better. Pumping and feeding is getting pretty cumbersome, so it makes sense. I don't think I can keep pumping and feeding.

Saw LC yesterday and things went ok, last night was horrible, he wouldn't sleep I couldn't figure out what he wanted. He BF some but still wouldn't take his pacifier and go to sleep so I tried a bottle and he wouldn't take it. Finally I just put him in his seat facing me and went to sleep on the couch.

I guess he ate pretty well off of one breast when I woke up. He was so hungry when I woke him up that I had to give him half oz in a bottle to calm him down enough to get him on. Then I had to pump per LC b/c I gave him some bottle.

I HATE HATE HATE not knowing if he is latched on properly and not knowing how much he is getting. He is peeing and pooping fine so he must be getting some. I don't think I really like the way it feels when he is on the breast either. It doesn't hurt, though. I am really impatient when he is feeding; I don't know when he is really done or not done and I am uncomfortable when feeding. I have an appt for a weight check on friday so I have to give it at least until then but I don't think I see this working.

I have always thought I wanted to breastfeed and I really want him to have the breastmilk but I don't think I can do this. Does anyone have any advice? Why should I feel guilty if I end up deciding to formula feed my baby?

[lisamarie]

There are others who are more experienced than me..but here is my two cents.

With my Porkchop....I breastfed. But she wouldnt latch on good and I was uncomfortable and got to the point where my nipples bled and I thought they were gonna fall off. SO I pumped exclusivly for one day or two and fed her expressed bm. THEN when I felt like I was in a good place..meaning..I wasnt irritable...or rushed..I boob fed her. She actually latched on good because I my boobs werent that full. THe football hold worked wonders on the left side and the cradle hold on the right. Then if she just ate off of one side..I would dip into my stash and give her a couple of oz or so. Then the next feeding I might just pump and feed. Or I would feed her expressed milk that I had..then after she was done I would go pump. The older she got the more I bf just becaue I think she could handle my big boobs better.
My one piece of advice is just settle down. I kinda had to get the mind set and woudl always tell myself.."Lisa..this baby isnt goin to starve. If I cant measure oz's on my boob I will just give her a few from the bottle just to make sure." Plus I realzied that I could go to formula if I wanted to. THere is NOTHING wrong with formula in my opinion..you are NOT a bad mom if you switch to formula. You probably wont be as stressed. Thats what I did on my first...I couldnt handle the stress of bfing. But with my second...after a few days of stress I got better and had help from a few girls on here(Leanna, Kirsten and Karen) I got to breastfeed for 5.5mths. NOw I wish I could have went longer..but maybe next time! hehehe

I would really ask Leanna or Karen..they know alot about it all....Kirsten isnt on much anymore....HTH!

[mara232]

You might just have to do a "nurse-in". Just nurse and only nurse. When he freaks out - pull him off and try again. An LC will help you with latch issues - it helped me immensely. BF is so hard - if you can make it past the 6 weeks you are doing GREAT! I never could have imagined how hard BF is going to be. I gave up too early and exclusively pumped for the 2 months after the first two months of BF. I gave up way early because pumping is a pain in teh ass. I know women who pumped for a YEAR! Those women are my heroes!!!

I hope the long term BF will chime in - they give great advice.

[lisamarie]

Mind you...I probably pumped 85% of the time at first and then fed her. Then when when she got alittle bigger and could latch on right it would boob feed her and then finish pumping. When they latch on it shouldnt hurt. I always thought..'yeah right'..but its true! lol The older Porkchop got..the lay down postion was the best...plus I got a little cat nap in too! hehehe

[texasred1]

Both Lisa & mara have given good advice. And unfortunately it can be stressful. I was determined to bf even when everyone was telling me to throw in the towel because Mason wasn't gaining weight. My lc helped tremendously. Mason's pedi was too quick for me to throw in the towel as well, so was dh. In the end the first couple of weeks I supplemented with one 4oz. bottle of formula each night. That way dh knew ds was getting something. The first couple of weeks after I went to see the lc I was on a rigid schedule of bf every 2 hours, then pump for 15 min., then feed expressed bm. I did that schedule 24/7, setting my alarm to wake me and a sleeping jaundice baby who had no interest in eating. Mason's latch wasn't the best either, and it did hurt. When they latch it shoudln't hurt. The lc also told me NO pacifiers while you're trying to get a proper latch-on established. I was giving ds one, until then.

Hang in there hth. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask or send me a pm. I'm a bit distracted at work this morning so, don't know how good my answer was, sorry...

[Sherri]

Katie, in the beginning it is hard, for all the reasons you are talking about. But it does get SO much easier if you hang in there, and you are right on the edge of the time when it will start to get easier. That said, if you decide to stop, don't guilt yourself out, formula will be fine. But if this is something you really want to do, I would encourage you to stick it out until you get over the "hump."

I remember, especially, how emotional I was the first few weeks. I remember thinking how nursing was "supposed" to be relaxing, but when I was nursing Ava I just got this rush of sadness/grief-like feelings mixed with gratitude and love for her. That's all part of the postpartum hormones and they evened out after 2-3 weeks. That's also when Ava was gaining enough weight that our ped said I could stop pumping after feedings, didn't have to worry about feeding Ava every 2-3 hours, not to wake her up to feed her, and not to even worry if she gets both sides at one feeding. I can't tell you how much of a difference all of those things made. You are right on the edge of that now. It wasn't really until about 4-5 weeks out, when we started introducing a bottle of expressed breastmilk, that I really started appreciating nursing and wanting to keep going with it for a long time.

If you are having physical discomfort b/c of latching, etc., definitely keep talking to your LC because they can really help.

We had some really bad nights when we got no sleep b/c we couldn't figure out what Ava wanted, and it turns out, it was gas and/or a bad reaction from something I ate. Mylicon drops (per our ped) helped a lot, as did sitting her up for 30 min after a feeding, but this was hard.

One more thing to try if you haven't already, is nursing in bed laying on your side. You will probably fall asleep, and this is okay!! One of the best things I ever learned.

Good luck and keep checking in. Congratulations on your new baby!

[wantingbabynumber2]

First and foremost you have to relax I know easier said than done but stress works against you in production and your child will sense the tension. When the baby latches on it will not feel good it can be a bit uncomfy but should NOT hurt if it hurts the baby is not latching on properly. My DD was in the NICU so when she came home we had to work on the nipple confusion and the fact she had to work harder to get the milk from me than a bottle. I was able to nurse while she was in the NICU too off and on. But she rarely got bottles at home. We exclusively breastfed from 4 months to 9 months. You can also rent or buy a digital scale with ounces and weigh the baby before and after a feed and you will get an idea of how much he is getting. You should also use Nuk nipples on the bottles as those are supposed to make going from breast to bottle easier. If you think it is an issue he is not getting enough you can use the medela supplemental feeder its a tube you have next to your breast that he sucks milk from a bottle through but your breast produces and it stimulates you to make more. Ask your LC about that too. Sure I am forgetting something will reread and post more. It can be horribly frustrating and make your worry about feeding your child but you can do it. Breastfeeding is hard work and takes time, patience and dedication. And in the end whether you pump and feed from a bottle or go to formula your kid will still love you and will grow up healthy you should not feel guilt at all.

[mara232]

Karen made a good point as did Sherri about the formula. I had enormous guilt for putting A on formula. After so much trouble BF and him not eating EBM or formula we saw a doctor who thought he may have a milk protein allergy/intolerance. We switched him to hypoallergenic formula and he was a new baby in 24hrs. In the meantime I tried changing my diet so he could eat BM but it was sooo constricting and after 2 weeks he still was sick on BM I finally gave up. But the interesting thing is my kid is thriving..started eating like a champ on the hypo formula and I never looked bad.

A lot of women will make comments about not extended BF (My inlaws did/do) but oh well. My kid, my life, his health, my sanity. In the end you do what is best for you.

[want2bemama]

i know exactly wat u r going thro...i went thro it for the first 3 weeks with Dhruv. I always knew i wanted to BF but when it actually happened, i jus couldnt understand why it was so stressful...Dhruv was not able to latch properly and the first 2 weeks I bottle fed him more than I breast fed.I was an emotional mess too and to add to that..my nipples were extremely sore and even pumping was painful.

It does get a looottttt easier with time...nowadays i hardly pump becos breastfeeding is easy,instant and doesnt need any preparation.

If u really want to breast feed, u need to jus have some patience..in a couple of weeks, u & ur baby will get the hang of it and it will be less stressful for both of u.

If u want to bottlefeed, dont feel guilty abt it...u r doing wat u think is best for ur baby's growth and no one can tell u otherwise.Ur baby will love u regardless.

[proud2Bamommy]

I just want to say that I'm sorry you are going through this stress right now. I think we can all relate to you in how stressful it is. I gave Dylan a bottle w/BM for the first 3 weeks because he wouldn't get back on the breast after recieving a bottle. But at 3 weeks I tried again and he went to it like a pro. It is possible to get your baby back on th breast exclusively if that's what you want, but it does take a bit of patience. Try to hang in there and know that if this is what you are determined to do then you will succeed. However, by no means feel guilty for NOT bfing. It isn't for all people. If you are uncomfortable don't worry about it! How many babies are raised on formula and turn out just fine! You tried your hardest and that's all that matters. Your baby will be healthy either way. Besides, with formula all your concerns will be answered (how much, etc...). One less thing to stress about. If you think you have it in you continue to pump as much as you can. Dylan wouldn't let me so I had to get him back on the breast... but that's just us. You do whats best for you. Formula is FINE!

[katiepcoo]

Thank you everyone for all of your advice and encouragement. I spent the whole day crying and he has been getting on without a problem and it doesn't hurt, but I realize that I just don't like breastfeeding. I don't like the way it feels physically and I think the best thing for both of us at this point is to just stop. I only have 5 more weeks with my baby before I have to go back to work and I want us both to be able to enjoy it.

Thanks again for all your help.

[Sherri]

Katie, whatever helps you relax and enjoy this time together is the best thing you can do. The hardest thing to learn, I am finding, is how to sort throught all the stuff everything will tell you, and to trust your own instincts. Good job, mama!

[katiepcoo]

Thanks, Sherri! I am feeling so much happier now. If I remember from when she was born, Ava has red hair under that hat, am I right? My husband and all of his sisters are redheads so everyone is always trying to find red in Peter's hair. I think he ended up with mine though.

[Sherri]

Yes, she's a redhead, just like her other mama! I do have an uncle who had reddish/brown hair (now it's grey). I REALLY have to update my ticker photo. Even these are from back in October!

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f254/Sherri7/CoxFarmfallfest.jpg

Ava with Bubbe
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f254/Sherri7/October29AvaandBubbe.jpg

[texasred1]

OMG Sherri - i love those pics!!! Ava is tooooo cute! I don't know how many people say it, and I don't think it's because of the red hair, but I swear Ava looks like Carol. She is just too cute!

Katie - everybody keeps waiting to see if Mason's hair is going to turn red too. I was born with it, I don't think he's going to have it.

[katiepcoo]

Ava is so beautiful, and so is Mason, red hair or no. I have always loved redheads and always wanted to have a red head but I couldn't care less that Peter doesn't have it. I never even thought that when he came out he would look like me but he does and he is soooooooo cute.

[Sherri]

Thank you, it's true, everyone thinks Carol's her birth mom 'til I offer to show my Caesarian scar or whip out a boob!

[texasred1]

HAHAHA LMAO that's too funny. I showed my dh the picture of the 3 of you and asked who he thought was Ava's mom. Without hesitation he said you! He said you and Ava have the same eyes.

So no boob required there :wink:

[Sherri]

Red, that just made my day! :oops: :D

[texasred1]

:D :D :D :D :D
I do what I can!! :wink: