Breastfeeding in Public

[greatOT]

SO, I'm expecting twins and have no idea what to do with myself now, little less when the babies arrive. I just joined a forum for parents of multiples. I have to tell you I was a bit disturbed by the posts. I know breastfeeding is a loaded topic, but there was blatent name calling and people telling others to "get a clue" and actual swear words! OMG! I feel very lucky to have you all because I have seen disagreements, but never anything nasty.

SO, I'm curious what you all think about breastfeeding in public. Personally I'm fine with it, but never did it myself. This was because I was unable to feed DS without flashing the world! :wink: I'm thinking it won't happen with the twins, either, because I don't see how you can feed 2 at once without totally exposing yourself. maybe if I can figure out how to feed one with staving off the other I can become coordinated enough to nurse without creating a peep show. We'll have to see.

-Sarah

[Sherri]

Hi Sarah,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I don't have twins, but I am a public breastfeeder. While I was pregnant, I was very inspired by a friend with twin toddlers who nurses in public. She is my nursing hero. She only nursed one at a time. I can see how tandem nursing in public would be extremely challenging! Also, I just remembered, going for coffee with a friend with twin infants. Another nursing hero - she nursed one at a time with a blanket draped over her while the other was sleeping in his car seat.

Anyway, it took several weeks before I got the courage up to attempt nursing in public. (I had to first get over feeling shy nursing in front of family members/visitors in my own home!) I had a c-section and was limited to the "football" or "side lying" positions for awhile, and "football" felt cumbersome to attempt anyplace very public, but I did it, starting out in the car which felt more private, or in family members homes. Basically, semi-public places. Then, once my incision allowed me to attempt "cross-cradle" and "cradle," I started nursing in public more - for example in restaurants and park benches. It has become a lot easier as Ava has developed more head control.

I don't like using blankets. I tried, but was not coordinated enough, especially when Ava was very little and I needed to see her and make sure she was latching, etc. (again, not the easiest time to venture out in public). But I do have several nursing tops that (I like to imagine) help keep me from flashing the world. I don't feel the need to hide the head of a baby that's eating, and the tops are discreet enough for me to feel comfortable. Best selections I've found are at Motherhood Maternity and at www.motherwear.com.

One more thing - I see you are in Virginia. If you are in the DC metro area, definitely check out the Breastfeeding Center for Greater Washington. They have free classes and are a wonderful resource. www.breastfeedingcenter.org.

Good luck! :D

[tracyrhymer1979]

I am totally fine with breastfeeding in public. My SIL breast feeds in public with a blanket over the baby, and I tell anyone who has a problem with it to get over themselves, thats what boobs are for!

I have only been pg once, but never been fortunate enough to carry to term, but if I ever do give birth to a child, I plan on breast feeding. I could care less what the world had to say about caring for a child.

Congrats on your precious babies!

[texasred1]

Sarah - I haven't done it yet. I guess I haven't been out with Mason for a long enough period of time. Well, I take that back, I did nurse him at the mall, but at Nordstroms they have an actual nursing room, so I went in there - it was very nice. I like you practically expose myself to the world, wish I was better at it, but just not. But I personally I have zero problems with any woman bf in public. A baby has to eat, right?

[texasred1]

Maybe Sherri can answer this one. I've bought a nursing top or two and they just seem like they don't work for me, like I can't get the hang of the openings and my nursing bra. A shirt that I just lift up seems to have worked the best. How's it supposed to work?

I'll get you all fired up with this news article. Apparently a woman was kicked off a plane for bf on the plane? did any of you hear about it? So women started doing a bf sit-ins of such at tickets counters. Also did you know you cannot carry expressed bm on a plane unless you have the baby with you? I signed a petition for that rule to go away. I understand with all our security issues, but if I had to go out of town, say for the weekend Mason has enough in stock he'd be fine while I'm gone, but I wouldn't want to just pump & dump to keep my supply going. grrr... if anyone wants a link to the story or the petition, let me know,

[Sherri]

Hi Red, not sure how to explain how they work, but it takes some practice, and some types of openings are easier than others. I think I read somewhere that exposed bellies are more of a tip-off that you are nursing than actual boobs! I don't know if this is true, but the extra layer of cloth does keep my belly warm, and I feel less self-conscious. Motherwear has tips for nursing in public here: www.motherwear.com/br/pdfs/Section4.pdf.

I heard about that airplane thing. Indignant, and amazed/impressed with all those moms who make time to do sit-ins!

[lisamarie]

Ok...I just had an experiecne with this TODAY!

Boob feeding out in public has always kinda made me feel uneasy but I get over it. I boob fed my Porkchop till she was 5.5mths. But today..was nuts...and I felt ill when I seen this woman breastfeeding. Here is what she did...

The baby looked almost 18mths(which is fine)..and the baby said something to the mom meanign she wanted milk..then the mom really loud says..."you wants a drink?" then puts her to the boob and the baby acted like she didnt want it..then the mom started saying.."momma got it out and I know you like it..there it is...come on now...put it in your mouth". I was grossed out. I mean pipe it down lady....It would be different if I heard her saying it at a whisper level but it was a loud converstaion between her and her tit and baby. It was nuts.

Before I ever breastfeed I was totaly against it..I think it was just being young and ignorant. But after breastfeeding my second daughter I see it differently..but women like that freak me out....

Save your hate mail to me too..I'll just delete it...lol

[texasred1]

Save your hate mail to me too..I'll just delete it...lol

you crack me up!

[Sherri]

Save your hate mail to me too..I'll just delete it...lol

you crack me up!

Me too!

[wife and mommy]

LOLOLOL!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[elsie]

I'm the biggest weirdo when it comes to the bfing issue Lisa ... I bf both ds's until 20ish mos. -- never even owned a bottle -- but I can count on one hand the # of times I did it in public -- emergencies only. I was just too young and self-conscious. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that when the ped. came to check on ds in the hospital he acted all embarrassed. Got things off on the wrong foot, I guess. I nursed babies in lots of toilet stalls, the car, etc. Now I think back and can't believe I was that silly about it but you have to realize that literally _no one_ I knew bf. The ped. was actually shocked when I was still bfing ds at 3 mos. Times have really changed and thank goodness for that. Now in the area where I live it's almost considered child abuse to use formula.

That scene with the nursing toddler would weird me out too, as petty as it is to admit it. Past 12 mos. I was only nursing them at naptime and bedtime.

[greatOT]

See, that's why I like this forum so much. An open, honest discussion and not a single nasty word was said to another member. SO cool!

Sherri, thank you for the links on nursing outfits! I checked them out when I was bfing DS, but they looked so ugly back then! Huge pockets right over the bb's that were oh-so-not-discreete about what you were supposed to do with them. I'll have to see what else I can find now because I think i may have little choice. I am really determined to bf these guys as long as possible (milk dried up when DS was 8 months - weaning was really easy but I wasn't ready) and with a 2.5 year old who loves being out and about I think I will have to become more coordinated about everything I imagine a lot has to do with your own confidence: if you are nervous and looking around and turning beet red people will notice you. But if you act calm and natural probably no one will notice anything. I think sprouting at least one more arm would also be really helpful! :lol:

Lisamarie, that is too much!!! I think that mom was just trying to show off. Strange exobitionist something-er-other. I ran across a similar type mom the other day, though there were no boobs involved. At the post office there was a woman with a little boy just my son's age. He kept up a stead stream of nonsensical babble which I found charming. Mom would turn her head towards the whole room and shout things like "That's right, we do drive this way to go to the airport" despite the fact that there was nothing in the babble to suggest that was what he was talking about. Like she thought it would make a room of 5 strangers think he son was a genius that he knew where the airport was! people crack me up!

And Elsie, I am so sorry your doc was so unsupportive. Don't you wonder why some people bother going into healing professions?

Thanks again, ladies. I love knowing that all of you have my back!

-Sarah

[SeekingMotherhood]

I totally plan on breastfeeding my child. It is the most natural thing in the world. Studies have shown the benefits are enormous for the mother and the child. No, I will not be over the top about it and make everyone see what is going on, but I do plan on feeding her when she gets hungry. I will either put a blanket over her or go into another room (bathroom, etc.). God forbid that I offend anyone...

In our local news paper a few months ago, someone had wrote a letter to the editor about a woman who she saw in the beauty shop b'feeding. The lady was minding her own business b'feeding her child and not making a scene and the lady had the nerve to call her out for that. Now I understand if the lady was like lisamarie's lady. That was over the top. But this lady was just appauled that she had just witnessed a b'feeding. When did it become obscene?

Well, I don't think you should breastfeed at 18 months though, but that is a whole nother can of worms...

[lisamarie]

Hey seeking!

Where at in Indiana are you from????? :D

[wecova]

I agree, bf is great. But, if a milk laced boob turns you on ( or off) then I guess women in sleeveless tops turn you on cuz you can see their armpit!

I have a friend who's mom sewed a cover up that went around her neck and then draped over her entire front; great for a restless kid. or squirmer.

I nursed dd in public all the time. We stopped at 13 mos.
DS nursed until only 4 mos or so, and we were caught in bathroom stalls, et al. I hated it!!

I think you should care less what people say. it's what the LAW says that counts, and the law agrees, boobs were meant for eating!

Weeee :)

[Sherri]

We went to a birthday party for my friend's two-year-old twins (boy & girl) yesterday at their home. At one point in the party, the kids went over to their mom and told her she wanted to nurse, so she calmly arranged them both on her lap and they both sat there peacefully and nursed. They had the sweetest looks on their faces. The girl drifted off to sleep. The boy took a break to play and then came back, nursed some more, and then tried to wake up his sister. I am so glad I got to see it. It was beautiful. And they are about the most calm, well-behaved two-year-olds I have ever met.

[Leanna]

That's awesome that your friend has nursed her twins for so llong, Sherri. I nursed Bonnie for 22 months, and she self-weaned. I'm game to nurse Jack as long as he wants, too.

[Sherri]

That's great. I would like to go as long as Ava wants to. Carol wants us to start TTC again when Ava's a year old, but if Ava's still nursing, I want to wait until she's ready to stop. I had to take Follistim and Met to conceive, and I'm pretty sure that would be the routine again. I don't want to have to wean to start fertility treatments again when who knows if they will even work! (And talk about a hormonal/emotional nightmare, from weaning, straight to fertility meds!) It may be a challenge for me not to feel pressured to wean before we are ready, but I think this is a conversation I'll be ready for when I need to have it. I just want to relax and enjoy Ava for awhile. (BTW, C has had a hysterectomy so I'm the one who would TTC again).

[medic_632]

i love the natural process of Bfing....my family and most friends were amazed that i did cause i was so young when i had my first....but it just felt right and i felt tha tthat was not only our time but the best thing i had to offer her for oher future health (besides good parenting) so i did it and i did it until she was ready to stop, even after she started solids and whole milk i still nursed morning and bedtime to make sure she was getting enough....she is very healthy today and i contribute it to the BFing...i have a crap immune system and catch everything, she doesn't...as far as doing it in public...i had a sling where i could see down and i could monitor her but no one else could...i remember when she was like 5 weeks old, i friend of mine & I were walking through the mall and shopping, i needed to BF and we didn't have time to sit in the bathroom and do it, so i put on the sling and walked around....she was a slow nurser that day and OMG the looks i got...finally my friend went off at a pair of old women cause they were standing in line talking about it like right in front of me...after that i never worried about BFing in public...my friends didn't let it embarrass them why should i let it bother me?

okay i'm off my soap box

[elsie]

I wish I'd been more comfortable nursing in public ... but I guess at the end of the day what matters is that ds's got the benefit of the bm as long as they did. But when I think back to all the bathroom stalls and cold cars I sat in to nurse them, it's sad. I did bf ds2 at parties/reunions (which I guess is technically public) and people always were always telling me when I'd burp him after feeding that they'd had no idea he was even nursing! They'd say, "Why are you burping the baby? Isn't he asleep?" Lol ...

I never had a nursing bra/clothes. I had one and gave it away cause it seemed like too much to fiddle with. I just used a front-close bra instead. I lost a fair bit of modesty with ds2 cause I couldn't exactly take a seat when ds1 was running around like a maniac. I vividly remember chasing ds1 so he wouldn't run into the street while nursing ds2 ... not my happiest memory to be sure!

BTW they both self-weaned at about 20 mos. which is when I found out I was 2 mos. along with ds2. With ds2 dh and I went away for a weekend and I figured ds could start up again afterward but I wasn't even engorged -- ds couldn't have been getting much at that point so all in all it seems to have been the right time!! I don't regret a minute of it. They grow up sooooo quickly. [/list]

[texasred1]

I just want to applaude those of you who did and were able to bf for as long as you did. I want to do the same with Mason. I want to let him self wean. I thought about this on Saturday as he slept sooo much because he is getting over some cold (and didn't get ANY sleep on Friday). I pumped twice because he slept straight through a feeding time. Then dh had to give him a bottle, because I was at the store. The second time I pumped he woke (wouldn't you know it) about 30 minutes after. I changed his diaper and suctioned out his nose, which of course fired him all up, then sat down to nurse him. He calmed down immediately, I just sat and looked at him, he was so peaceful. Fell right back to sleep.

[elsie]

TexRed, In my opinion you're the one who should get a round of applause -- you're working and pumping!!! That is a feat in and of itself. I only had to pump once when ds was having surgery at 5 weeks, and it was a major project -- I never would've lasted. I always say that nursing went so well cause it was the only time I was allowed to hold ds1 during his first week -- he was in an isolette with abnormal jaundice (bili lights, blanket, and iv). The nurses would've been happier if I didn't nurse and he stayed in there 24 hours/day but the lc came to my rescue!

And I know exactly what you mean about how good it feels to know that you can instantly comfort them ... past 1 year that's pretty much what it was all about for me with ds's. It really helped in that 1 year - 20 mos. period when they were so often frustrated and couldn't express it verbally. As hard as those days were I think they were a lot easier cause of the nursing connection! :D

[SeekingMotherhood]

Please, by no means anyone take offense by this post. And do not take this personally. I just want to state my opinion and that is all. I do commend you guys for breastfeeding and think that it is the best for mother and child.

I guess that I just don't get why you would want to do it so long. I don't think that a child of two should still be on the teet. You don't give a child formula for that long. They have teeth and do not need to nurse that long. I know that I will get alot of feedback for my comments but, that is just my opinion. I DO support breastfeeding. Just not for that long. A child should not be old enough to ask for your breast to get a drink. They weened themselves at 22 +/- months? Of course they did, they don't need to be on there. Children get weened from their bottles at +/- 10 to 12 months. Same should go for the breast.

[esarah]

Ok, so I am going to say what I think on nursing longer. I think that if the child and mother both want to do it then why not? I had to wean my daughter at 9 months and it was hard for both of us. I am glad that she got the benefits for nine months though. My doctor told me that for long term that studies have shown that breastfeeding 6 months is enough to reap the full long term health benefits. I am not sure how they determined this though. The benefits of nursing longer help babies to have an even stronger immune system while they are nursing. Something my daughter could have used. Not to mention the bond and love between mother and child that is so natural and beautiful and important.
With my next baby I hope that I am healthier so that I can let my child self wean. I think that there are countless benefits to nursing and I would like to be able to do it longer.

Do not get me wrong. I know that nursing is not the only way to bond with your child and I don't think it is wrong if people want to stop or have to stop sooner or even if they choose not to nurse at all but I admire people who nurse longer because it is what they feel is right for them. Despite what others may say. I respect both positions but I would love to be able to nurse my next child until they self wean.

[medic_632]

i never condemn people for the amount of time that they spend on nursing their children...i nursed for so long because i could and because it helped her and becasuse my pediatrician said i could as long as we were comfortable with it...breast feeding is a very natural thing to do and so we do it...but like everything else it's not for everyone nor is feeding for extended periods of time...in the hospital that I work at, the maternity nurses and lactation consultants try to persuade everyone to try and nurse at least for the first few days so that the baby gets the colostrumwhich is the first "milk" that has alot of immunities and nutrition in it...i think breast feeding is just like all other parenting aspects, somthings are for some people and somethings are not...we all just deal, we shoudl not judge each other for what we feel

[Terra]

I don't have any problems with people nursing in public. Baby has to eat no matter where you are are. I personally did not nurse Piper, but I pumped and bottlefed her for 6 weeks. At that point, my milk was drying up and I was only getting an ounce for 30min of pumping. When I went itno labor I had every intention of nursing her in the hospital. Well turns out that the surgery was very rough, almost lost my uterus to an emergency hystorectomy. I got a quick glimpse of her right after she was delivered. And then I passed out for the next day because of a lot of blood loss and a large dose of IV phenergan. By the time I came around that next day, she had already had several bottles and was a pro with it. And I just decided not to nurse--she was already doing well with the bottle. It would have been easy to switch at only 1 day old, but we just didn't want to. Not sure what I will do with the next one. Maybe I will do a complete 180. I don't know what it was, but I just had no intererst in putting her to the breast. But that worked for us. Everyone knows that breast milk is best...doesn't matter how they get it. Her new Ped. actually praised me for pumping exclusively for so long. Piper did not get the colostrum though. I was given some meds during my surgery that she could not have. They were extreme circumstances though. So I had to pump and dump the good stuff. But she did just fine on formula and wasn't sick a lot until now and she's just having trouble with her ears. So kudos to those who BF any way they can. And if they don't, no big deal either.


http://img282.imageshack.us/img282/6031/glitteryourway6657fe70cn9.gif (http://www.glitteryourway.com)

[corinna]

Thought I would share this recent story w/ you all...maybe some of you have already heard it on the news already. Last month in Burlington VT, (our biggest city), and most liberal I have to add, there was a woman who was taken off a plane for breastfeeding her baby on board!!! :shock: :evil: Do you believe it??? Well they didn't know what they were messing w/, I mean COME ON!!! This is Vermont! We were the first to ammend civil unions for Gods' sake! :lol: Well they opened up the biggest can of woop @ss on themselves because when wind spread of this there were HUNDREDS of woman w/ nursing children, babies etc who picketed the airport. They all went inside the airport, sat down on the floors all over the airport and began nursing w/ picket signs etc. Was the funniest thing!!! What the hell was the airport really thinking anyway??? Needless to say, they apologized and pinned it on some poor stewardess...I mean, somebody has to take the blame! :lol: :roll:

[texasred1]

Corrina - I saw that on the internet news. In fact that story led to another link about allowing expressed breast milk on board. As it stands now, you can only bring it on board if the baby is with you. That's crap. What about the woman who has to go away and has left her baby with enough expressed bm, but pumps while she is gone? I know if that were me i wouldn't want to pump and dump just to keep my supply up, I'd want to be able to use that expressed bm. There is a petition going around to get the law changed. And yes, I totally understand all the hoopla about 9/11 and what sort of world we live in, but enough is enough! Run that ebm through some sort of xray machine and allow it on board, just like they do other sorts of vital liquid stuff.

[texasred1]

TexRed, In my opinion you're the one who should get a round of applause -- you're working and pumping!!! That is a feat in and of itself. I only had to pump once when ds was having surgery at 5 weeks, and it was a major project -- I never would've lasted. I always say that nursing went so well cause it was the only time I was allowed to hold ds1 during his first week -- he was in an isolette with abnormal jaundice (bili lights, blanket, and iv). The nurses would've been happier if I didn't nurse and he stayed in there 24 hours/day but the lc came to my rescue!

And I know exactly what you mean about how good it feels to know that you can instantly comfort them ... past 1 year that's pretty much what it was all about for me with ds's. It really helped in that 1 year - 20 mos. period when they were so often frustrated and couldn't express it verbally. As hard as those days were I think they were a lot easier cause of the nursing connection! :D

Thanks. The pumping is old hat now, but not the first time - omg! My dh (and I) still laugh about my first time pumping. :roll: I did it because I was so engorged *sigh* what an ordeal, plus I had no clue what I was doing, what a funny sight!

[Sherri]

Red, sounds like you and your DH laugh a lot together. How wonderful!

[texasred1]

Sherri - you would have laughed at the sight of that too!
but, we do laugh a lot together, he is hilarious! His nickname when I met him was Farley, after Chris Farley. they kind of looks alike and both are very funny, my dh is a dork - but a funny one that I love. :roll:

[greatOT]

Terra, the thig is that you *did* breastfeed. So what if the baby wasn't at your breast? One of my dearest friend was unable to breastfeed because her son had oral motor problems and couldn't form a seal. I told her she deserved a medal for pumping as long as she did. talk about mother's love. wow!

I'm amazed at how many moms bf-ed for so long! I am so jealous! My milk stared to dry up when DS was 6 months old and we limped along until 8 months when there was probably nothing left. I am REALLY hoping to nurse for longer than that with these guys, but I'm also wondering how well I will do nursing twins. I suppose I will have to take each day as it comes!

Thansk for all the tips on how to politely nurse in public. The back seat of the car will be off limits because with these guys it will be full of car seats! haa! And DS is a total outside boy, so I'm going to have to figure this out, somehow, if I am serious about nursing.

For those of you with more than one baby did you lose even more inhibitions after the second? I feel so much less modest about my body after having what felt like half the L&D staff stick their hands up my wazzoo during labor, and an army of strangers man-handle my boobs to learn how to nurse DS during his first few days. Will I be even less concerned after this go around? It would probably help if I were! haa!

-Sarah

[lisamarie]

Sarah- I was so much more comfortable with everything with my second. I had a few problems starting out while I boob fed. I was a big time pumper because I didnt want to have to feed her with the boob if I was irritable or whatever. So I mainly pumped..then the bigger she got..she latched on so much better and I boob feed more. You will do great!