Leslie
09-11-2006, 04:09 PM
I’m doing this poll as a rant and to get your honest opinions. It’s going to be long, so feel free to skip if you’d like. I’m not trying to bash DH, but I need to know if you all think I’m being ridiculous, so here goes.
Saturday was MU’s first home game. DH and I have always gone early to tailgate with friends in the past, and at times with a group of people he (he’s a moderator) is on a MU internet bulletin board (much like this one). I’ve never been a fan of tailgating with the BB people, because I don’t know them. I’m pretty open once I get to know a person, but I’m pretty backwards around people I don’t know.
Last year when I was pregnant we talked about this year and how we’d have the baby with us, etc. My BF and her husband (who was friends with my husband long before my BF and I met) are adopting a baby from Guatemala. Last year they were hoping that the baby would be born and to the US around football season, so we talked about the two babies being with us this year. When we tailgated together we were in a grassy parking area and talked about how it would be nice to have the grassy area for the kids to play in this year.
Skip forward to last week. My BF and I were talking about what the plans were for the game. I checked with DH to see if he had any plans. He said no, so BF and I made plans. We decided we were just going to pick up pizza and snacks, because it was going to be too hot to grill out in the middle of the day. Thursday one of the guys that sets up the BB tailgate called DH. He left a message. I figured the guy wanted DH to go down early with him to set up their tailgate. DH either didn’t call him back or get a hold of him on Thursday. On Friday I called DH to see if his plans had changed. He said no he was still planning on us tailgating with our group of friends and just getting pizza. When I get home on Friday DH says he talked to Mark, and he wanted him to go down with him to help set up the BB tailgate. Mark wanted to pick DH up at 9:00 am (the game was at 4:30). DH said he told Mark he would have to talk to me. I wasn’t happy but didn’t let DH know that. I just said sure go ahead and go early. Their tailgate was starting around noon. I wasn’t planning on getting to Huntington until 2:00 or 2:30. That would give DH time to help set up, spend some time with his people and then spend the rest of the time before the game with me, Arianna and our friends. I did say that I didn’t want him doing it at every game, because I really needed his help to get everything ready for us with taking the baby and everything. He was cool with that. I asked DH to go ahead and get parking spaces for us and our friends and to get an extra space for our tailgate tent. He said he would take care of that.
I get to Huntington a few minutes after 2:00. I call DH and tell him I’m there, but I want to run to the bookstore to see if they have any baby Marshall outfits for Arianna. Most of hers are 6/9 months. He tells me to pick him up in front of the athletic building, and he will go with us. We go to the bookstore, looked around and are checking out.
My BF had called and was sick, so she wasn’t coming to the game. Her DH and one of his friends were coming to tailgate with us though. I tell DH to call Sean (BF’s DH) to make sure he was coming. DH gets his voicemail and tells him to call when he gets to Huntington. As we are heading back to the tailgate area, DH says I bet Sean won’t show up. I said that Kim (BF) had said he was coming and bringing a friend. I said I hope he showed up since we paid for him a parking space. DH said I didn’t pay for him a space. We are parking at the HerdNation (internet BB) tailgate. I knew then DH had no intensions of us tailgating on our own in the grassy area. We pull up to a parking lot (HerdNation rented it for the year), and there are a TON of people on the asphalt parking lot. No grass for Arianna to be able to get down in, nothing. I get out and some people (most of whom I don’t know) come up to see DH and the baby. Then DH does his usual thing and just leaves me standing by myself, only this time I’m holding a baby. He goes and socializes for awhile then decides to set up our tailgate tent. I ask him to put the pack n play under it as Arianna is at the age that she DOES NOT want to be held for long. He sets it up and then takes off to socialize some more, leaving me alone with the baby again. Well, she didn’t want to be confined either, so she was not happy in the PNP. It was hot, and people were crowding under out tent drinking and smoking and cussing. Now I have no problem with Arianna being around people who are drinking, as long as they are being responsible about it. Many of these people are college students though, and we all know how responsible they can be at times. I also don’t want her breathing in all the cigarette smoke.
I finally took the baby, started the car and got in to try to get her to take a bottle. She took a little bottle, but wouldn’t take it all. After awhile she got tired of being in the car seat, so I got her out and was playing with her in the car. Then she wanted down. She was trying to get in the floor of the car at my feet to play. Needless to say that wasn’t working. During the whole HOUR we were in the car DH was off doing his things stopping by occasionally to show someone the baby. Finally I said I’m going to have to take the baby and go home. He said ok I can get a ride home. I’m pretty sure I shot him a dirty look. He goes about his socializing as I sit there. A little while later he comes back. I tell him again that I’m going to take the baby and go. He says he will go with us. This was about 10 minutes before the game started. He packs everything up. When we were getting ready to leave I tell Sean (who DH had ignored the whole time too) that I’m sorry my husband was an idiot (I later apologized as I shouldn’t have called him a name), and we left.
So my question is am I wrong for wanting to take Arianna and let her be a part of something that is important in our lives or is DH wrong for being selfish and not doing the tailgate like we talked about in the grassy area where she could get down and play before the game. I just feel like he is selfish and doesn’t think about anybody but himself. At this point I’m not sure I’ll even make it to one game this year, and we have season tickets. DH is now saying we will leave her home. I told him yesterday that was fine, if she stayed home, so did I.
I know this is long. Just really needed to get this off my chest.
Saturday was MU’s first home game. DH and I have always gone early to tailgate with friends in the past, and at times with a group of people he (he’s a moderator) is on a MU internet bulletin board (much like this one). I’ve never been a fan of tailgating with the BB people, because I don’t know them. I’m pretty open once I get to know a person, but I’m pretty backwards around people I don’t know.
Last year when I was pregnant we talked about this year and how we’d have the baby with us, etc. My BF and her husband (who was friends with my husband long before my BF and I met) are adopting a baby from Guatemala. Last year they were hoping that the baby would be born and to the US around football season, so we talked about the two babies being with us this year. When we tailgated together we were in a grassy parking area and talked about how it would be nice to have the grassy area for the kids to play in this year.
Skip forward to last week. My BF and I were talking about what the plans were for the game. I checked with DH to see if he had any plans. He said no, so BF and I made plans. We decided we were just going to pick up pizza and snacks, because it was going to be too hot to grill out in the middle of the day. Thursday one of the guys that sets up the BB tailgate called DH. He left a message. I figured the guy wanted DH to go down early with him to set up their tailgate. DH either didn’t call him back or get a hold of him on Thursday. On Friday I called DH to see if his plans had changed. He said no he was still planning on us tailgating with our group of friends and just getting pizza. When I get home on Friday DH says he talked to Mark, and he wanted him to go down with him to help set up the BB tailgate. Mark wanted to pick DH up at 9:00 am (the game was at 4:30). DH said he told Mark he would have to talk to me. I wasn’t happy but didn’t let DH know that. I just said sure go ahead and go early. Their tailgate was starting around noon. I wasn’t planning on getting to Huntington until 2:00 or 2:30. That would give DH time to help set up, spend some time with his people and then spend the rest of the time before the game with me, Arianna and our friends. I did say that I didn’t want him doing it at every game, because I really needed his help to get everything ready for us with taking the baby and everything. He was cool with that. I asked DH to go ahead and get parking spaces for us and our friends and to get an extra space for our tailgate tent. He said he would take care of that.
I get to Huntington a few minutes after 2:00. I call DH and tell him I’m there, but I want to run to the bookstore to see if they have any baby Marshall outfits for Arianna. Most of hers are 6/9 months. He tells me to pick him up in front of the athletic building, and he will go with us. We go to the bookstore, looked around and are checking out.
My BF had called and was sick, so she wasn’t coming to the game. Her DH and one of his friends were coming to tailgate with us though. I tell DH to call Sean (BF’s DH) to make sure he was coming. DH gets his voicemail and tells him to call when he gets to Huntington. As we are heading back to the tailgate area, DH says I bet Sean won’t show up. I said that Kim (BF) had said he was coming and bringing a friend. I said I hope he showed up since we paid for him a parking space. DH said I didn’t pay for him a space. We are parking at the HerdNation (internet BB) tailgate. I knew then DH had no intensions of us tailgating on our own in the grassy area. We pull up to a parking lot (HerdNation rented it for the year), and there are a TON of people on the asphalt parking lot. No grass for Arianna to be able to get down in, nothing. I get out and some people (most of whom I don’t know) come up to see DH and the baby. Then DH does his usual thing and just leaves me standing by myself, only this time I’m holding a baby. He goes and socializes for awhile then decides to set up our tailgate tent. I ask him to put the pack n play under it as Arianna is at the age that she DOES NOT want to be held for long. He sets it up and then takes off to socialize some more, leaving me alone with the baby again. Well, she didn’t want to be confined either, so she was not happy in the PNP. It was hot, and people were crowding under out tent drinking and smoking and cussing. Now I have no problem with Arianna being around people who are drinking, as long as they are being responsible about it. Many of these people are college students though, and we all know how responsible they can be at times. I also don’t want her breathing in all the cigarette smoke.
I finally took the baby, started the car and got in to try to get her to take a bottle. She took a little bottle, but wouldn’t take it all. After awhile she got tired of being in the car seat, so I got her out and was playing with her in the car. Then she wanted down. She was trying to get in the floor of the car at my feet to play. Needless to say that wasn’t working. During the whole HOUR we were in the car DH was off doing his things stopping by occasionally to show someone the baby. Finally I said I’m going to have to take the baby and go home. He said ok I can get a ride home. I’m pretty sure I shot him a dirty look. He goes about his socializing as I sit there. A little while later he comes back. I tell him again that I’m going to take the baby and go. He says he will go with us. This was about 10 minutes before the game started. He packs everything up. When we were getting ready to leave I tell Sean (who DH had ignored the whole time too) that I’m sorry my husband was an idiot (I later apologized as I shouldn’t have called him a name), and we left.
So my question is am I wrong for wanting to take Arianna and let her be a part of something that is important in our lives or is DH wrong for being selfish and not doing the tailgate like we talked about in the grassy area where she could get down and play before the game. I just feel like he is selfish and doesn’t think about anybody but himself. At this point I’m not sure I’ll even make it to one game this year, and we have season tickets. DH is now saying we will leave her home. I told him yesterday that was fine, if she stayed home, so did I.
I know this is long. Just really needed to get this off my chest.