Ways of Support

[BadBoyDre]

So my girlfriend she's been diagnosed with PCOS and I was looking for ways to help support her and help her through this because I know what the symptoms and stuff and when I found out she was diagnosed with it I went to learn as much as I could about it as well as treatments and stuff for it.

One of the things she wants to do is lose weight but she has an issue with it because she gets discouraged easily, and it's VERY hard to get her to work at it especially because she's not very active at all and she constantly talks about how she feels lethargic and fatigued and she gets self conscious at times. Especially when it comes to me because I weight less than her and yet I can eat nearly 4 times what she does and I rarely gain weight or anything and also I mean my 21st birthday is coming up and I was going to take her out to the club with me since she's never been to a club before and she automatically started feeling down because of the issue of clothing and her size and all. I honestly don't think she's big or anything. I think it's more of the idea that she just wants to be toned down rather than lose weight because I weigh just under 140 like around 138-9 and she is at around 170. Although over time i did notice she did gain weight and I could see it in her face mostly but I still don't think she looks bad at all but she's really self conscious about herself
I'm standing at 5"7 1/2 138ish and i'm an athlete, she's standing at 5"4 about 170ish and i guess it'd be easier if i just put our pics up.

I'll post them in my next post

Also she is trying to find easy ways to maintain her hair issue since the hair on her legs grow back VERY quickly and also on her lower back and she's very self conscious about that as well.
those are two things that really bother her now.

From what I've studied and learned I'm sure that depression (which isn't exactly a medical diagnosis but rather a psychological one) is one that comes from this as well as lack of energy, weight gain, and uncommon hair growth due to the increased amounts of male hormones in the body.
I studied a few more things but I need ideas and help with ways of supporting and helping her through this.
I know it's a very emotional subject for her and she doesn't like to talk about it because it drains the happiness out of her but I told her I don't want to see this whole thing tear her apart.

I don't really know how to approach this, so I usually spend my time researching it as much as possible and I've tried to take her to work out with me when I go to do my Tae kwon Do warm ups or competitions, or I try to play games with her and keep her active but she gets upset easily and she gets tired or winded easily as well.

So my question is, is there something that I'm not doing right or am I just not understanding her or did I overlook something.

[Tink]

I think it's wonderful to see significant others come on this site for ways to support. So...good job!! I'll try to give a little input, but others will probably come on in the next few days with more info for you.

First off, who diagnosed her? A primary doctor, an obgyn? She should really get in to see an endocrinologist (either just an endo or a reproductive endo). A medication that works wonders for those with pcos is called metformin (it's the generic of a drug called glucophage). The main cause of pcos is insuin resistance. If her insulin isn't under control, it could be why she feels lethargic/ lack of energy. As far as activity, if she isn't used to exerting herself, the activities you're asking her to join may be too much. Try just going for walks or swimming (a great low impact exercise) or even something that doesn't seem like exercise like a wii game.

Definitely show her this forum. Encourage her to log on and speak to others with the same diagnosis. This forum is FILLED with women who can truely understand her thoughts and feelings like no other person can. Also, continue to tell her she's beautiful!!

[BadBoyDre]

Thanks I appreciate everything and yeah she went to both the obgyn and the GP and got checked and all that. I'll try and persuade her to come on the site and check it out. I know she still is rather emotional about it. I'm still trying to see if I can include her in other things. I took her for a walk before and we've gone swimming alot (although it's really just in the pool and walking around and me carrying either her or my sister on my back lol) aside from that she dances. She's enrolling in a belly dancing class which is one of the things she loves to do along with singing. (She's good at that too) and I figured I'd support her on that as well.
I'll look in to the whole thing about the insulin because I knew it couldn't be the fact that she gets tired that easily or anything because, she sleeps more than I do yet I'm much more active than she is. Also because I know it's not good for your body if you don't work it out enough it weakens and I try and get her to do as much as possible so that it keeps her body active and running well.
I'm still trying to talk to her and figure out what she's going to do in terms of managing weight, because I know that's one of the biggest things she wants to she wants to lose weight. She's a size 12 and she wants to knock that down. I just want to support her in anyway I can.
Anyway is there any other kind of things I should look out for pertaining to nutrition health and physical health.
I want to first be sure she's healthy and also prevent or at least attempt to keep her from being diagnosed with diabetes. Her last visit to the doctor said that she was borderline diabetic and I want to know if there's any way I can go about keeping that in check or at least help keep it in check.

[Tink]

Diets that include eating foods in the low glycemic index really help. Diets such as south beach or other no/low carb diets. Also, many have success with weight watchers.

Dancing is great!!! Keep encouraging that!

[BadBoyDre]

I'm glad she's doing the dancing class I know she really loves doing it so I'm def. all for it. I'll try and tone down my exercises and make them less strenuous for her. She does have trouble breathing once in a while as well. So I'm looking for ways to help her with that as well.

[jremstuart]

According to me supporting her includes involving her in the decision making process. Give her details about the disease and make sure that she has an opportunity to ask the doctor her questions as well. Discuss treatment options and let her voice her opinion. And, of course, listen to her concerns and make sure that they are addressed.support and love her. Be there to listen, go running, or get manicures together. Use PCOS as an opportunity to enhance your relationship!

[silverlining]

I think it's great that you've done all this research. I know it really helps me to talk to friends/family who at least know a little about PCOS.

I would just be careful to be supportive without being pushy. She needs to make the changes in her life that will make her healthier and then you need to support her in those changes. She may fell overwhelmed if she is still coming to terms with the diagnosis and then you are pushing her to do all sorts of new things.

Men and women do differ in this way. Men usually hear a problem and just want to fix it as quickly as possible- especially when they know how much their loved ones are hurting. You just want to see her happy and healthy- which is normal. But sometimes women just want a sympathetic ear. Someone who understands how hard this is, and how overwhelming, without offering solutions. Sometimes when my husband just offers all the solutions I feel like he is undermining how difficult it is, but I know it's the only way he knows how to help.

She will need to make the changes on her own terms, one step at a time. It's hard to change so many aspects of your life at once- as PCOS can be all encompassing. If weightloss is her primary goal- then either start with diet OR exercise for a few weeks and then bring in the other. I would start with diet first, because if she eats for her to keep her insulin levels in check- she may start to feel less lethargic. She should be eating a low carb diet, and really trying to eat only complex carbs, like wholegrain pasta, brown rice etc. You could help by cooking meals that are low carb, or doing the diet with her, so that she doesn't see you eating a loads of carbs while she is craving them.

Then when she is feeling ok about the new diet, she can try and increase her exercise. She really needs to do something she enjoys doing- like the dancing. Instead of having her come to your warm-ups maybe see if there is some dance classes you can do together. Like learning to swing dance or something.

She is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her and wants her to be happy. Just make sure she know it- we can be very sensitive and if you are pushing her to exercise, she may think you are not happy with her size, when you are actually just trying to help her feel better about herself.

And as the ladies said- show her this site- it is a lifesaver for a lot of us!